Already Dead
by lilyrose29
Summary: One Shot. Edward left her and Bella writes a poem as her suicide note. Edward finds it. REVIEW!


**I know, I know. I should update my other stories, but poetry has caught my eye and stole it along with my heart. 3**

**Summary: One Shot. Edward left her and Bella writes a poem as her suicide note. Edward finds it. REVIEW!  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight nor the beloved characters.**

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"Edward, it's too late. She's gone." Alice's words echoed in my sorry state of a mind.

My one love, my only love, has left me. I know I should be visiting Italy right now, but I need to just revisit Forks one last time before I go rejoin my love. The moment Alice saw it, it was too late. My Bella did it. She did it before I could fix my mistake.

I told her in the woods that I didn't love her anymore. I was so confused b everything: my lust for her and her blood, Jasper's mistake, Bella's persistence of becoming a vampire. I just didn't want to stay in the relationship when I was so confused, I didn't even know if I loved her anymore. But now, my love for her is more intense than it has ever been before. But she's gone. I'll never see her again. All because of my confusion.

I run through the green trees, sheltered by the endless clouds above me. They have never looked so haunting and deadly to me. Hanging over her house as I catch up to it like death, blackening with every passing second. I hear the thoughts of those mourning Bella in her house. All thoughts of sadness and pain, because of my actions. I try to push them out of my mind and head straight for her window. I climb up to it like I did all those times at night for my love. Ironically, the window is open, like someone was waiting for me.

He room looks the same. Her CD's chaotically scattered across her floor with clothes hanging off her chair. Her dinosaur computer turned off with dust collecting on the top. Yet, I see on a shelf the stereo she got for her birthday damaged as if someone tried to hit it multiple times with a baseball bat. I see bottles of sleeping pills attempted to hide under the bed, but rolled out. A small razor speckled with blood stains laid out in the open on her nightstand. What happened to my Bella?

Pain stabs my stomach and my head gets so dizzy, I need to sit down. I lay down on her bed, my side of course. My head meets the cold pillow and I hear paper rumpling under it. Huh?

I lift my head and remove the pillow to find a carefully placed letter, or note. I waste no time reading it.

These soothing blue pills

mock me to sleep

cause they know I need them

to prevent my dreams

and as I swallow them down,

they slither down my scratched throat,

damaged from my tears.

When I lick my cracked lips,

I taste their blood and it

cools my body that is

steaming with heat.

The ache in my body

flares if I move to

try to end the pain

that you created

just by those simple words,

"I don't want you anymore."

My swollen eyes

fade in and out of my

dizzy world that is

consumed in darkness

by these calming blue pills

that mock me to sleep

as my heart stops to beat

for this body that is

already dead.

Blind pain pierces my stomach again and I double over in sobs.

My fault. My fault. I did this.

Footsteps climb up the stairs to find the noise.

Must go. Must leave. Italy.

My Bella.

Running. Airplane. Beg for death. Denied. Must end this. Must end my existence.

Clock tower. Sun. One step forward. Finish this all. Need my Bella. I hurt her. Must hurt me.

So quick, don't even feel it. Blinding light. I'm finished. No more pain. Happiness.

Bella stands with her arms wide open. White.

Heaven.

My Bella.

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**At least a happy ending! They are both together! I originally wrote the poem, THEN saw the connections to Twilight, so its not really well developed. But I hope you liked it! Let me know in reviews! Hate it? Love it? Cried? Any random thought is happily accepted!!!**

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